


Terms

by miranda_wave (miranda_askher)



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen, Giggling at crime scenes, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-18
Updated: 2011-05-18
Packaged: 2017-10-19 13:02:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/201134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miranda_askher/pseuds/miranda_wave
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something is taking up space on John's hard drive...</p><p>[Not a crossover, but close. Very, very silly.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Terms

**Author's Note:**

> Don't own, wish I did. In both cases.

Of all John’s unexpected traits—far more, in Sherlock’s opinion, than such a normal man ought to possess—the oddest was his incredible knowledge of science fiction trivia.

John was an idiot, like everyone else (or perhaps a little less than everyone else), but he was a doctor, and unlike ninety-five percent of the populace, he at least made an effort to use his brain. Not often a terribly successful effort, Sherlock had observed, but an effort. He was a good doctor, and not a completely lost cause at gathering information.

Sherlock wondered occasionally whether John might be capable of actually surprising mental acuity if his brain was not full of—well, the knowledge hadn’t been worth saving. But suffice to say, all these useless bits and bobs made John giggle at inconvenient times and give him, Sherlock Holmes, that incredulous look that said _you really are a total moron_.

Lately this had begun to bother him.

However, it wasn’t until they were leaving the scene of a particularly creative robbery and triple murder—apparently committed with poisoned lipstick, which had caused John’s lips to twitch suspiciously—that the problem actually came to a head.

“Well, that was interesting,” John commented blandly. He looked rather happy, and he never looked happy after a crime scene.

In a terse monotone, because John really was interrupting a very important train of thought, Sherlock replied, “Define interesting.”

And suddenly John was bent double, in a fit of giggles and guffaws. Was it possible for a person to giggle and guffaw simultaneously? He was actually wiping his eyes as he tried to force the words out:

“Oh, God, Sherlock, I was trying so hard not to, the crime scene, really, lipstick? Poisoned lipstick? But we can’t—at a crime scene—“ He collapsed into giggles again. “And then you said—you just said—and it went together—and God, you don’t even know, I was trying so hard—“

By this point Sherlock had extracted some sense from John’s inarticulate monologue. “Am I to understand that something about the crime, and something about what I just said—a perfectly ordinary, entirely grammatical English phrase—has reduced you to incoherence because it is somehow tangentially connected to your…pet interest in futuristic impossibilities?”

John laughed harder.

He was still snickering when they found the lipstick discarded in an alley tip, and clearly trying not to smirk when Lestrade arrested the rather kinky call-girl whose pout still showed traces of lip sealant and a very distinctive color. But at least he was trying to behave himself.

And yet, when Sherlock suggested dinner at Angelo’s, John’s response was immediate. “I’d love lasagne, but it’s got to be takeaway. There’s something I need to show you.”

“If it’s your Doctor Trek Wars, I’m not interested.”

John opened his mouth, then thought better of it and just smiled. “None of the above. But I promise you will love making fun of it.”

They had nothing else on that night, and Sherlock could feel the edges of the boredom already. So he let himself concede, ignored John’s astonishment, and in revenge, demanded that they go for sushi instead.

Sherlock knew that John hated sushi. He couldn’t be agreeable all the time.

**Author's Note:**

> If you didn't get it, go watch _Firefly_. You'll be glad.
> 
> For the record, I knew nothing about River Song's hallucinogenic lipstick when I wrote this. But now, having watched the fifth series of _Who_ , I think it just adds to the glee.


End file.
